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Warning, possible trigger alert.

Today is Father’s Day.

The first post on my face book news feed that I saw this morning was by a friend who is a single mum. She has been a single mum for many years, and has done a fantastic job of raising her kids. But, every year on father’s day, she does a post wishing herself and all the other single mums out there a Happy Father’s Day… and every year it evokes the same response in me.  I give absolute kudos to single mums… it’s a tough gig, I know because I have been one. But father’s day is for fathers and there are dads everywhere who won’t be with or hear from their kids today…. often through no fault of their own. And, I want to acknowledge that in this post.

My husband is a separated dad. He had his children taken from him when his ex-wife had an affair and ran off with the pastor of his church. The first one or two years after the separation, which should have been crucial in cementing  my husband’s ongoing relationship with his children, were instead spent going on adventures with their mother and her new partner so that they could “bond as a new family” (her words, not mine). My husband has been lied to, lied about, been falsely accused of things and, for a lot of the time, has been prevented from having any kind of normal relationship with his children, while still paying hundreds of thousands of dollars in unregulated child support… and unfortunately he is not alone. There are some alarming statistics around the suicide rate in males aged between 45 and 54 years of age. I’m not going to pretend to be an expert, but you can’t ignore the anecdotal evidence to suggest that a large proportion of these men are dads who have been separated from their children. This is a big issue.

Of course, there are exceptions to every rule, and I acknowledge that there are some deadbeat dads out there who refuse to support or have anything to do with their kids. But I believe these are in the minority. The majority of separated dads just want to have a relationship with their kids, without the interference of a manipulative and bitter ex-partner… or worse, the new partner who is trying to take the place of the biological father in the life of the child.

I know this is a controversial topic… and I also know there are two sides to every story. But someone needs to acknowledge and speak up for the dads who are doing it tough today. I have seen the pain and anguish of being separated from your kids firsthand and the damage it causes to so many relationships. So, if you know a dad who is not with his kids today, give him some encouragement, and don’t let him do it alone. A kind word, someone to talk to over a coffee or even a meal might be just what he needs to get through the day.

Galatians 6:2 NLT Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ.

When God first asked me to tell my story some years ago, I was horrified. Not only was He asking me to tell my story…. He was telling me to tell the WHOLE story… every bit of it. My first thought was “Really?!” closely followed by “I can’t tell the whole story… what will people think of me?” And, then the Holy Spirit In the gentlest way, whispered softly but firmly, these words…. “This is not about you…”

I had been shown a vision by God 12 months prior to this so I knew that it was my calling and my purpose in life… but all of it?? Are you sure??!

Well, yes He was sure. And now, so am I… well, as sure as I can be in by human insecurities!

A line from the Steven Curtis Chapman song “King of Love” says…. “And You said go and tell the world what Love has done…”  So, here I go, telling the world (well, anyone who will listen anyway) what He has done for me. I cannot stay silent. I have seen the goodness of God too often in my life to dismiss it. But, as He said, this is not about me…. it is about Him… the One who created us and who longs for us to be whole and living the life we were born for. The story is mine… but the glory belongs to Him.

2 Corinthians 1:4 NLT says “He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.”  I believe I have an obligation to tell my story so that people can receive for themselves the healing and comfort that only God can give. Psalm 107:2 NIV”Let the redeemed of the Lord tell their story – those He redeemed from the hand of the foe” I have seen firsthand the redemption of God and I’m here to tell you that it doesn’t matter what you’ve done, it doesn’t matter where you’ve been and it doesn’t matter where you’ve come from. You are a precious child of God, created in His image from the beginning of time. There is a plan and a purpose for your life.

For too long the enemy has tried to keep the children of God chained and bound to their past mistakes and regrets…. it’s time to say no more! Will you draw a line in the sand today and allow God to work in your circumstance? Will you allow Him to draw you closer unto Himself to find your true identity and purpose?

I’m not going to tell you it’s easy… but I can tell you it’s worth it.  They say that life is a roller coaster and I have to admit, I’m a merry go round kind of girl. But I have experienced the twists and turns, the highs and lows and I can honestly say that I would not be the woman I am today without the experiences I’ve been through… it has been a long and at times difficult journey but God in His faithfulness and brought me through the fire of refining to a place of wholeness, redemption and security in who I am.

I have recently been very unwell with the ‘flu; Influenza A to be precise. It knocked me off my feet for almost a month.

For a lot of that month I was housebound, unable to even get out of bed on some days. But when I did manage to get outside briefly one day, the thing that struck me first was that although it was still winter, the trees in my backyard had already started to blossom…. Winter is here, but spring is definitely on the way!

This is true in nature, and in life. We go through the natural cycle of seasons; Spring, summer, autumn, winter. But we also go through personal seasons; there is the spring of new beginnings and fresh new possibilities. Then summer, at times full of life but sometimes stormy, barren or dry. Autumn, the season of change and finally, winter where things often lay dormant and look lifeless. Every season is of value, in nature and in life, and each one has its proper place. The natural seasons follow each other sequentially, just as they were designed to do, but in life sometimes our seasons do not seem to make sense. You could be in the spring of new beginnings and then suddenly find yourself in the midst of a dormant winter. Or, you could be in a dry summer and then suddenly comes the beautiful change of autumn. Nothing lasts forever… and circumstances change, both good and bad. Micah 7:8 Do not gloat over me, my enemy! Though I have fallen, I will rise… Isaiah 43:19 See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.

As a Christian, I believe that all our seasons in life are ordained and determined by a loving God. He created our natural seasons and He is with us in our personal seasons… good and bad. I don’t for a minute believe that God ‘causes’ difficult seasons in life, we as humans all have free will and choice to do as we want, but I do believe He uses them for good, according to His will. (see Romans 8:28)

This blog is the start of my ‘spring’… The buds have started to blossom… and the new season is on the way!

Thanks for reading my first ever blog post…. and stay tuned!