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“I’m not leaving, I’m going.”

Such a small phrase but it packs a huge punch. It was posted on the weekend by an account I follow on Instagram #raisedtostay. The timing of her post and the impact it had on me were profound.

You see, we were just about to exit the church we had called home for almost seven years. We had spent many of those years in leadership including three years where I was on staff. The transition out was not easy.

This is a difficult blog to write because the truth is, transitioning well out of a church family is a tough journey. I want to be honest with my words, but respectful at the same time.

I have seen so many people leave a church with their bat and ball in hand, off to find someone else to play with. They get offended or disillusioned for all sorts of reasons and then just leave without explanation or a backward glance. This is not only hurtful but incredibly disrespectful to people who have more than likely invested in them. The problem with doing this is, they take their offence with them and so when the next person at the next place hurts or disagrees with them, they leave again and continue to carry their baggage with them until they either deal with its weight or get crushed under it. Both options are going to be painful, so you might as well deal with it instead of being destroyed by it.

Please don’t get me wrong. I am not minimising genuine church hurt. I know and have seen genuine hurt from both sides of the pulpit. None of us is immune.  I also know how easy it is for hurt to become offence if it’s not dealt with. And I’m not talking here about spiritual abuse, which is also real but is often confused with church hurt. Genuine spiritual abuse is a serious issue and must be managed accordingly. Sometimes it’s hard to know the difference.

And here’s where I come to leaving or going. You can leave in your offence, or you can go in your healing.

Can I be honest and say that in the sixteen months between coming off staff and exiting the church, I could have so easily taken my bat and ball and gone home. It was for the most part a lonely transition. I found that people typically don’t know how to deal with someone whose position has changed suddenly. I didn’t even know how to deal with it. How could I expect others to walk with me on a journey none of them had ever walked? How could I expect them to know the grief and the burnout I felt. How could I expect them to understand the loss of identity when you have poured your heart and soul, and sacrificed your own time and family 24 hours a day, 7 days a week caring for others to then sit in the congregation with nothing to do? How could I expect them to understand how it feels to see that life goes on for everyone else while you feel like you’ve suddenly become invisible?

I couldn’t expect them to. But I did.

Until one day when I was confiding in a good friend, ok, venting… I was venting. And she gently helped me see that no one could understand how I was feeling, because they hadn’t been where I was.

When I first joined the staff, I asked someone, ‘who pastors the pastors?’ They told me that when you get to that level of leadership, you need to learn to minister to yourself. I didn’t know how to do that. So, when the phone calls didn’t come and when people didn’t act the way I wanted them to, I didn’t know what to do. I got hurt, then I got mad, then I got offended. Or, as John Bevere puts it, I took the bait of satan. It could have ended really badly.

I’m so grateful for my wise friend who helped me put things into perspective. Then God in His infinite mercy took me through a (long) process of healing to the point where I was comfortable sitting in the congregation with nothing to do. I softened my heart, and relationships were restored. And it was then that I was ready to ‘go’.

We knew we had been called to another church in another town, but it was six months after hearing from God that we were to move on before we actually exited. Because I needed to not leave with angst, I needed to go with freedom. Enter #raisedtostay’s post. As I said in the opening, it was truly profound. In it she writes “I wonder if some of us are afraid to go into the unknown because we’ve worked so hard and so long to be here. We’re afraid to lose status, our reputation, but it’s all meaningless if it’s not where God wants us.

Going isn’t quitting or abandoning anything. It’s letting go of something that was good to grab hold of God’s best.

And though it’s terrifying to let go its exhilarating to see what He has waiting on the other side of obedience.”

BAM.

And just like that, there was the confirmation I needed.

We had spoken to and been released by our senior pastor, and we knew we were being led by God but there was still a sense of abandoning ship, so the day before our final Sunday, this was exactly what I needed to hear.

It was okay to go.

I didn’t leave, I went. I went to go where God is leading me.

I didn’t burn bridges, I mended them. And I’m grateful to say, I exited well.

Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will win favour and a good name in the sight of God and man.” Proverbs 3:3-4

Bring on the next season!

As I sat at my computer editing a manuscript, I put my hand to my face and felt a sharp scratch from my engagement ring as it brushed my cheek. Fearing the worst, I slowly moved my hand and looked down at my ring finger, confirming my fear when I saw a gaping hole and an empty setting where my diamond once sat. My heart sank. I hadn’t noticed it was missing.

Taking my very forlorn looking ring to show James, I began to rack my brain. The truth is, I honestly had no idea where it had fallen out. I had been to many different places that day including the supermarket so it literally could have been anywhere.

Beginning the search, I pondered just how precious this diamond was. Yes, the ring is a valuable piece of jewellery but it’s value to me is so much more than monetary. It is priceless. James had handpicked my ring unbeknown to me when he decided to propose. He chose it. Especially for me. In secret. As a surprise. The sentiment behind that gesture cannot be measured or weighed. The sentimental value is irreplaceable, and it broke my heart to realise I had lost it.

What is interesting in all this is that the piece of manuscript I had been editing was about how the enemy tries to steal from us and distract us from doing what we are called to do. And how easy it is to get discouraged.

As I started to look for the lost diamond, I felt the Holy Spirit’s prompting to go into the last place I had been. I had been in our bedroom making the bed. As I was on my hands and knees looking under the bed, I muttered audibly to the devil “you will not steal this from me too!” In that moment I was compelled to look under the other side of the bed and guess what? There on the floor, sparkling against the carpet was my lost diamond. I felt like the woman in the bible who found her lost coin!

Or suppose a woman has ten silver coins and loses one. Does she not light a lamp, sweep the house and search carefully until she finds it? And when she finds it, she calls her friends and neighbours together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost coin.’ In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents. Luke 15:8-10

The feeling I had when I saw it was indescribable. I was so relieved!

But here’s the thing. This story is not really about a material possession. Well, yes. It is. But it’s also about how much more precious we are to God than even diamonds. My engagement ring is a precious symbol of James’ love for me. It is a symbol of restoration for both of us. James went out of his way to show his love and commitment to me when he proposed on bended knee and placed the ring on my finger. It was a time of much rejoicing. God says there is more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents. When just one person turns their heart towards God, the angels in heaven have a party!

My ring is not valuable to me because of how much it cost. It is valuable to me because I know the sacrifice of time, effort and yes finances, to purchase it for me. You know where I’m going with this… to another time, another place, another sacrifice. By the One who sacrificed everything because He thought you were more precious than even the most precious of jewels.

The enemy tried to get into my head when I lost my diamond, playing all kinds of negative mind games, but the Holy Spirit knew better. He led me to exactly where my diamond was. In the big things and the small things, God is always sovereign. And that, is worth rejoicing over!

When I got my repaired ring back from the jeweller, it was so shiny and sparkly that my wedding ring looked a bit sad and dull beside it! I left my wedding ring with the jeweller to polish and recoat so that it would match the lustre of my restored engagement ring.

This month we celebrated our tenth wedding anniversary, and I have my precious rings back on my finger where they belong. They are as shiny and perfect as they were when they were new. A beautiful anniversary gift! One of my catch phrases back then was “new beginnings”. We had both come from a place of brokenness after betrayal and divorce in our previous marriages and our relationship really was a new beginning for both of us, in so many ways. Ten years later, I can’t help but feel like my rings are a symbol of more new beginnings as we enter a new decade as husband and wife. A lot has changed for us in recent years and like my rings, I had become a little worse for wear. I had let the circumstances of life overwhelm me and I had become tarnished and worn out. Now it almost feels like God has taken the worn out and tarnished and transformed it into fresh and new. In the natural and the spiritual, I have been through the refining fire. Just as my rings had to go through a purifying process of repair and restoration, God has taken me through a process of relying less on myself and the opinions of others and He has restored my hope, my faith, and my commitment to trust in Him no matter what, because nothing is too big or too small for Him. He cares about it all. Even the seemingly small and inconsequential things.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. Ephesians 3:20-21

Challenge:

God is in the business of restoring things. What do you need to give to Him to restore today? A relationship? A career? A lost dream? Name your own….

Are you willing to go through the process of refining in order for this to happen? If not, what’s holding you back?

It was a Saturday afternoon, and we had attended the wedding of some beautiful friends celebrating with them in the goodness of God and redemption in their lives. By Sunday morning we were in the Emergency Department of our local hospital with James writhing in excruciating abdominal pain… Less than twelve hours for everything to go from celebration and joy to “what the heck is wrong with my husband?!”

It was the worst thing I have ever seen, seeing him in so much pain that it caused him to sweat and want to vomit, feeling helpless in being able to make him feel better and make his pain go away. Thank God for the invention of intravenous pain killers! Within a short amount of time the pain had eased enough for the medical staff to begin the tests that would tell us what was causing him so much agony. Blood and urine tests plus a CT scan showed the culprit, a 4mm kidney stone. You would say that 4mm is not that big… until it must pass through a tiny tube to be expelled. Seven weeks passed until the stone made its way out of his body. Seven weeks of pain and discomfort. Seven weeks of frustration and uncertainty. Seven weeks when we had no other choice but to believe that God was in control of this situation. Seven seemingly unending weeks.

As He usually does these days, the Holy Spirit spoke to me during our time in the hospital while I was watching helplessly as my man was suffering in pain like I had never seen anyone suffer in pain before. For someone who usually likes to be in control of a situation this was unfamiliar and unpleasant territory for both of us. But isn’t that when God works best?

The Holy Spirit spoke to me about sin, about how little things that would appear inconsequential can cause so much pain and how they stay hidden for only so long before they must be brought into the open.

What did I learn from this experience?

I learned that something tiny and seemingly insignificant can cause an enormous amount of pain. Just because it is hidden does not mean its impact is any less. In any small moment in time, we can utter a harsh word, gossip, reject, ignore, belittle, criticize… the list could go on. All these things to our world would seem harmless. “Toughen up” people would say. “You’re too sensitive”.  

We will be called to give an account. We may think we can keep our sin hidden but we can’t, not for long anyway. We can try but ultimately it will be revealed and brought to account. We must keep short accounts with God and with man. The suddenness and severity of James’ pain was a wakeup call. At one stage I honestly began contemplating life if something were to happen, and he was no longer here. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account. ~ Hebrews 4:13

But the good news is in the following verses 14-16 Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has ascended into heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are, yet he did not sin. Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

James’ kidney stone was small, and it was hidden but that did not stop it from being incredibly painful. He could cover it up and numb it with pain killers, but it was still there. The pain didn’t go away until the kidney stone was expelled from his body. The pain of sin does not go away until we deal with it either. We can try and numb the pain with drugs, excessive alcohol and unhealthy habits or relationships but until we give it completely to God through Jesus to heal and restore, the pain will always be there. Just as James’ kidney stone had to go through the process of working its way out of his body, we must go through the process of God working in us to remove the sin and hidden baggage we have been carrying around.

For there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open. ~ Luke 8:17

Doggy Doo

My 6am alarm went off and roused me from my sleep. I am on thyroid medication which must be taken at least half an hour before I eat or drink anything, so I need to be very disciplined about my 6am wake up call. I do not like having to wait any longer than necessary for that first cup of coffee!

I got up to make my way from our bedroom to get my tablet from the fridge in the kitchen. I don’t usually turn a light on because I know the way so well, and I don’t like to disturb James. This morning I walked through the living room in the semi darkness and noticed something dark on the carpet. My first thought was it must have been one of Holly’s toys quickly followed by I thought I cleaned all her toys up before I went to bed last night? My third thought was to nudge it with my toe to see what it was… until the internal voice of wisdom said, Don’t be sticking your toe in that, turn the light on to see properly what it is. I loved that voice of wisdom when I turned on the light to be confronted with a sloppy pile of doggy doo.

So instead of taking my medication and going back to bed for half an hour which is normally how it works, my day began on my hands and knees cleaning up a pile of dog poop… not exactly how I had planned to start my day!

In the middle of all this James got up and took the dog outside. As he opened the sliding door into our backyard, he said “hey wow, look at the sky!” Well, I’m a bit busy right now but ok… The sunrise was beautiful, full of pink clouds and grey shadows. It was something I would normally run to get my camera for, to capture the moment. But not this morning. This morning I was on my hands and knees cleaning up dog poop.

The song “Graves into Gardens” by Elevation Worship popped into my head. You turn graves into gardens… Yes, God can and often does, turn the most awful of circumstances into something beautiful. My focus was immediately shifted from the pile of poop in front of me to the beautiful sky that was also in front of me. It’s all about perspective. I could have easily focussed on the literally crappy start to my day but instead I chose to focus on the beauty of God’s creation and the fact that His mercies are new every morning. Our day could have so easily been ruined if I had chosen to focus on the negative instead of seeing it as a minor inconvenience which really only cost me an extra half an hour of sleep.

“The faithful love of the LORD never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning. I say to myself, “The LORD is my inheritance; therefore, I will hope in him!”                                             

~  Lamentations 3:22-24 NLT

Every day we have the choice to start over. God has given us that choice when He says to us His mercies begin afresh each morning. He chooses to start each day afresh with us so why do we so often carry the hurts, disappointments and bitterness of yesterday into today? Why do we allow a minor inconvenience in the morning to cloud the whole day?

I cleaned up the mess and then was able to laugh about it with our friends when we went out for brunch. Fortunately for Holly, she is very cute and easy to forgive when she does something wrong! How much more so for God when He forgives us? I know I am not always endearing like my puppy when I do something wrong!

If we just ask Him, God forgives us despite ourselves and every day we can wake up with a fresh start. How good is that? And I’m so thankful that He speaks to us in every circumstance…. Even when we are on our hands and knees cleaning up poop!

And friends are friends forever
If the Lord’s the Lord of them
And a friend will not say never
‘Cause the welcome will not end

Though it’s hard to let you go
In the Father’s hands we know
That a lifetime’s not too long
To live as friends… Michael W Smith.

I am a big Michael W Smith fan…. And this is one of my favourite songs. But as I have gotten older, I’ve sadly learned that the words in this song are not always true.

Friendships don’t always last forever… We grow, we change, we move away…. And even if the Lord is Lord of both of you… your friendship may not grow, change, or move with you.  And, as hard as that is to accept sometimes… it is one of the realities of life.

As I look back and reflect on certain times in my life, I can now recognise that people I thought would be forever friends were in reality, seasonal friends. People sent by God to give me the support I needed for a specific time in my life. But being seasonal does not diminish the place they had in my life, or the place they will always hold in my heart. I’m sure I would never have gotten through some of the most difficult times in my life without these seasonal friends… My own Aaron’s and Hur’s… who would lift my hands when I didn’t have the strength to lift them myself. People who walked with me through some of my darkest valleys… but then for whatever reason, were no longer there when I got to the other side.

There are many reasons why friendships don’t last forever. Of course, there are the natural ebbs and flows, where people come and go, and we just simply drift apart. But then there are the sad moments where a friendship ends because of a misunderstanding or an offence, or the tragic moments where a friendship ends because of a betrayal. How do you move beyond that?

My grandmother used to have a saying “love many, trust few, always paddle your own canoe”. I have to say I don’t necessarily agree with her. Friendships, and indeed any relationship have to be based on trust. Without trust you have no solid foundation on which to build. But the unfortunate truth is that sometimes friends will let us down and we must let them go from our lives. And it hurts. We invest so much into our friendships and if you are anything like me the pain of not having your loyalty and trust reciprocated runs deep. But, let me say we also need to understand that letting people go from our lives is not to be confused with unforgiveness. It is perfectly ok to forgive someone but still not let them back into your life… it’s called wisdom.

I feel incredibly blessed with the people God has chosen to bring into my life. Yes, I’ve been hurt, I’ve been betrayed and I have been ‘let go’ from friendships… but I have also known the joy of laughing together until your stomach hurts, the intimacy of sharing another’s burden and crying ugly tears until you have nothing left and the wonderful feeling when you find a kindred spirit who knows what you’re thinking with just a look, who knows what you’re going to say before the words come out of your mouth and who will defend you, no matter the cost.

Friendships, whether seasonal or lifelong, are truly a gift from God and should be cherished and protected with everything we have.

One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:24

James and I recently had a weekend away in the snowy mountains. It has been a crazy start to the year and I was so looking forward to a relaxing weekend of doing not much. We arrived after dark on Friday night, excited with the anticipation of the warm, cosy chalet that awaited us… but the reality that greeted us was far from what I was expecting.

When we arrived, we turned the heater on to warm the house while we unpacked the car, but it very quickly became apparent that it was getting colder with the dark of night, not warmer! After an hour or so of trying to get the heater to work, we decided to call reception to alert them to the issue. Their first response was that it must have been something we had done as the maintenance man had been there in the afternoon to turn the heating on and make sure it was working… which it apparently was earlier in the day but by the time we got there it had switched off.

The resort management were lovely, they brought us extra heaters to get us through the night and assured us they would get someone out to look at the heater the next day. So, with the extra heaters on and the fire we had also lit, our little chalet finally started to warm up and we could relax and enjoy our evening.

Saturday morning was beautiful… cozy and warm inside, frosty and cold outside. We went for a walk and had literally just sat down for brunch when we got a phone call saying that the repair man was on his way and we had to vacate the premises asap (due to Coronavirus social distance rules we couldn’t be in the house at the same time) … ok, fine… but can we at least eat our bacon and egg rolls first?!

Throughout this experience, the Holy Spirit kept saying to me, over and over again whenever I felt myself getting agitated at the inconvenience…. Keep your spirit soft… keep your attitude sweet. And that’s what I did. Yes, it was annoying, but I didn’t get angry… we just let them do what they needed to do.

And, after a bit of to-ing and fro-ing with the maintenance guys, the problem was found.

It turned out that the pilot light that ignites the heater wasn’t working… And, because it hadn’t been used for so long, when it was switched back on it didn’t ignite properly.

As with any appliance, for a pilot light to work effectively it has to be properly maintained… and used! Often pilot lights will be extinguished over the warmer months to save gas and then turned back on to ignite the heating for the colder months but, as was the case with ours, sometimes the disuse causes them to become blocked or unable to be ignited again.

Who can relate to this? I certainly can!

The Holy Spirit is our ‘pilot light’. It is He who keeps us from becoming cold and it is He who works through us to bring light and warmth to those around us. And, if we stifle Him or let Him go out, we are ineffective.

There have been many times in my life when I have let my pilot light go out. Life has become difficult, or too busy, and I forget to spend time in the Word and in prayer, talking and communing with my Heavenly Father to hear what He has to say. I get disappointed or let down by a friend or loved one, I get discouraged by a poorly thought out negative word, my needs don’t get met and at times I have just simply given up, trying to find the closest corner where I can just curl up and hide.

But, I wasn’t put here to curl up and hide… and I’ve discovered on so many occasions that it is impossible to hide from God! He pursues me with His relentless love, calling me back and comforting me…. Reigniting my passion for Him, and His purpose for my life.

So, back to my experience with our weekend away. There is a choice to be made with our attitudes when things don’t always go as we planned. I could have so easily been outraged, complained bitterly to the resort manager and become offended when they tried to blame us but what would that have achieved? Nothing. It was Friday night and everything was closed so there was literally nothing more that she could have done at the time. And if I had become angry and upset, it would have spoiled mine and James’ time together as well.

 “Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me”. Psalm 51:10

The pilot light wasn’t fixed that weekend… it needed a new bit that had to be ordered in but it was still a beautiful weekend away… we had all the heaters we needed, we had stunning scenery to enjoy, we had quality time with each other…. And the resort gave us a free dinner for being so patient and understanding of the situation!

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28 

Facebook, you either love it, or you hate it. As much as mine is a love / hate relationship, one of the things I do really like about Facebook is the way it brings up memories on any given day. It’s nice to look back and see how children grow and things change, or just to simply reminisce on a happy moment in your life. But sometimes the memories are not so nice and bring reminders of a not so pleasant time from the past.

I have a week from 2011 that I can now affectionately call my ‘roller coaster’ week. A time where in the space of just one week, everything in my life as I knew it, changed. I can look back now on this particular week and smile but at the time, for the most part, it was not a good week at all and my Facebook memories this week have been reminding me of that time 9 years ago.

Roller coaster week started with my then 23 year old son flying out to live and work in London, indefinitely. It was a good move for him but heart wrenching for me. He had moved back in with me to help after my ex had left but it was now time for him to spread his wings… And, as much as it broke my mother heart, I knew he needed to leave more than I wanted him to stay. So, I put him on the bus on a cold, grey winter’s morning and then couldn’t drive home because I was bawling my eyes out. I had to sit in my car for about 10 minutes to compose myself before I felt safe enough to drive. Then I arrived home to an empty house, and I lost it all over again. I questioned God on just about everything that morning. Why did this happen? Is my usefulness over? Is this it for me? Am I destined to be alone for the rest of my life? (I was also questioning my decision to wear mascara at this point!) If you have seen my testimony video, you will recognise this as the moment I described in my kitchen when I cried my heart out to God. If you haven’t seen the video, and would like to, you can check it out here https://redeemed.net.au/Vikki%201080P%2026%20Nov.mp4

The second twist and turn in roller coaster week came a couple of days later, when I received my final divorce papers in the mail. And although I was well and truly on the road to recovery, this piece of paper still evoked the memory of the pain and rejection and had me once again momentarily questioning my worth and value. But I also knew that this meant the start of the new beginnings I had been waiting for… it meant I could finally let out the breath I had been subconsciously holding and really embrace my future… Whatever that looked like. God already knew then, what I was just about to find out…

And then…. The third and final twist in roller coaster week. Only this time it didn’t make my stomach churn… it put a smile on my face, a song back in my heart and made my stomach do flip flops for all the right reasons. You see at the end of roller coaster week 2011, I was invited out for coffee by a guy I had been corresponding with via messenger and email. This guy was on his own journey from the betrayal of infidelity and divorce and we had connected through Facebook messenger a few months earlier because of our similar experiences. We were in the same church and were Facebook friends, although to this day I have no idea how that happened!

Yes, ‘that guy’ was James. And that coffee lasted for 2 hours and only ended when the café closed and they kicked us out. Although we didn’t know it at the time, that was the beginning of our life together. Ours is a beautiful story of redemption, God’s Grace and second chances…

I guess the point of all this is that God knows our end from our beginning and even when there is an unexpected bump in the road, He is in control and will work everything for good. We are not responsible for other people’s choices. I honestly thought I was washed up when my ex had his affair. He blamed me, for so many reasons… in hindsight all of them speaking more about his character than mine, but I still needed to do the work and to submit to the growth that was needed in me before I could move on. And then, when I was ready, along came James. God knew we would be perfect together despite the fact that as individuals we are so very different.

I think life will always be a roller coaster…. And I really don’t like roller coasters, I much prefer the slow pace of a merry go round. But praise God, He is there in the ups and He is there in the downs. He will catch us when we fall and He will take us to heights we never even imagined… if we let Him.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose… Romans 8:28

Many of you would know that James and I have recently added a fur baby to our family. She is a six month old Golden Retriever named Holly. We’ve had her since she was eight weeks old and she is adorable… most of the time!

As all puppies do, Holly loves to chew things. She has a bucket full of chew toys that you would think would keep her satisfied.

Unfortunately not.

The other day I found her happily chewing on my prescription sunglasses. As I approached her, she very sheepishly dropped the mangled frames onto the floor where the lenses also lay in several pieces. She knew she had done something really bad because normally when she has got something she’s not supposed to have, she makes a game and runs away with it forcing you to chase her to retrieve it. But not this time. This time she just looked at me with those brown puppy dog eyes as if to say “sorry mum”. As I bent down to pick up the pieces, it dawned on me that I wasn’t mad at her… but I was disappointed that she had demolished my glasses!

My love for Holly and my understanding that she is just a puppy, doing what puppies do, overlooked the fact that she had just eaten a $100 pair of prescription sunglasses… Although, I was upset, and fortunately for her I had kept a previous pair that I am able to wear while I wait to get new ones.

Holly has lots and lots of toys, but she still ate my glasses. Why? Because I left them within her reach, and the temptation obviously proved too hard to resist.

We must protect what is ours. I was careless about where I left my sunglasses. I actually don’t even remember where I left them but they were obviously not put away properly. This is the same in life for us. We need to defend ourselves and our relationships from temptation. We must always be on our guard against becoming complacent. Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour (1 Peter 5:8) As I found out the hard way with my sunglasses, it only takes a minute to be careless and have something of value completely destroyed.

If it’s not yours – leave it alone! “You must not covet your neighbour’s house. You must not covet your neighbour’s wife, male or female servant, ox or donkey, or anything else that belongs to your neighbour.” (Exodus 20:17) Now of course Holly is a puppy and does not understand this but in real life, this is one of God’s original commandments and should not be taken lightly. Being on the wrong side of an adulterous affair is never a good place to be. And, often the people who have done the ‘coveting’ soon find out that the grass wasn’t that green on the other side after all.

And finally, this made me think about how God might feel when we do something wrong. Does He get mad? Or is He just disappointed in us? And, how should we respond when someone else does something to us? Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?” “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven!” (Matthew 18:21-22) Jesus himself set the example for us. I believe that when Jesus died on the cross, He took away the wrath and anger of God that we deserved, but I do think we can still disappoint God with our choices. He is our Father and just wants the best for us. Forgiveness is not a choice; it is a command. “But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins” (Matthew 6:15)

It was easy for me to forgive Holly because she’s cute and I love her. But what about the people in our lives who are not so cute and lovable… There is no difference. We are still commanded to forgive. But that doesn’t mean letting your guard down. You and your relationships still need to be protected against toxicity… You still need to make wise choices… and don’t eat other people’s sunglasses!

One of the things I love to do in my spare time is kayak. The city I live in is blessed with many waterways and lakes which makes this an easily accessible, and very enjoyable pastime.

Often when I’m out in the middle of the lake, I like to stop and drift for a while. It is so beautiful and peaceful on the water and it is a lovely place to pause and reflect. When I’m doing this, I like to watch the droplets of water fall from the edge of my paddle blade and down into the water, creating an outward circle of ripples.

At other times when I’m drifting, another paddler, or a power boat will go past some distance away and after a minute or so my kayak will start rocking with the waves created by the other boat.

While these are both ripple effects, they couldn’t be more different.

From one the effect is relatively minor, whereas the other has the potential to cause an unwanted outcome of me being rocked out of my kayak with the other person blissfully unaware of the disruption to my peacefulness they have caused.

How true is this in life?

We create ripple effects every time we say or do something. Whether we are aware of it or not, our words and actions create an impact that will continue and could be positive, relatively harmless or could cause great harm.

The ripple effect of our past has the potential to go either way…. A gentle ripple that turns into something beautiful; or a harsh wave of ugliness and destruction that upturns everything in its path.

For me, the potential for ugliness was very real for many years. I was insecure. I was bitter. I was confused. I was angry. I had become a victim of my circumstance and I was turning into the type of person I was desperately trying to avoid.

But then. God.

God, in His infinite wisdom and mercy picked me up and turned me upside down. With the help of His refining fire I started to become the person He had created me to be. My ripple effect became soft and gentle and my mess became my message.

I had resisted the call of God on my life for more years than I am happy to admit. I was afraid. I feared what people would think. But then I realised, this is not about what others think. This is about that one step, the one drop that creates the ripple. This is about being obedient to the call of God. This is about people being set free through the power of the Holy Spirit.

We have all seen in recent weeks just how quickly something can spread. Whatever you are giving off, good or bad, is infectious to those around you. The definition of a ripple effect according to a Google search is “the continuing and spreading results of an event or action.” We all have the ability to create a ripple effect with our lives and our stories.

What is God asking you to do to create a ripple effect for His glory that will continue to spread, ever outward, for days, months or even years to come?

I’m not normally a shoe person but I love white sneakers (and boots… I love boots… but I digress, today I’m not talking about boots, I’m talking about sneakers… Focus!!). I have several pairs of white sneakers and I wear them a lot, but some days I can’t wear my sneakers because I don’t have a clean pair.

And that’s the trouble with white sneakers… they get dirty very quickly. I can put a clean white pair of sneakers on in the morning and by the afternoon they have all manner of dirt and marks on them… no matter how careful I have been to keep them clean. I have tried lots of ways to clean my sneakers. I’ve washed them in the washing machine, and I’ve tried painting them with white shoe paint but even though they seem clean at first, as they dry the marks re-appear and they look dirty again.

While I have ways of making my sneakers look white again, nothing I do will make them look like they were when they were new. So, I’ve discovered the only way to get clean, white sneakers again is to buy a new pair, which depending on what brand you buy, can be quite expensive!

Hymn writer Robert Lowry wrote in 1876

“What can wash away my sin? Nothing but the blood of Jesus. What can make me whole again? Nothing but the blood of Jesus. Oh, precious is the flow that makes me white as snow, no other fount I know. Nothing but the blood of Jesus”

Most days, I am exactly like my sneakers. I start off in the morning clean and fresh but as the day goes on, stuff happens, and I get scuffed and dirty. A harsh word, a disappointment, an inconvenience… and before I know it, my thoughts, words and actions don’t line up as they should. Good intentions are great, but we need to make the effort to stay ‘clean’. Just as I would avoid jumping in a muddy puddle with my clean sneakers, we should be trying to avoid the dirt of sin in our daily lives. It only takes a second for the mud to stick… or a moment to be ruined.

Just as I can’t get my sneakers as clean as new by covering up the stains, we can’t erase our sin by trying to cover it up. Romans 3:23-24 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus”. The only way we can be made new is by receiving and accepting Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross.

When I need to buy new shoes, I go to the cheaper shops, I don’t buy big name brands because I don’t like to pay more than I have to. But God thought we were worth so much that He paid the ultimate price for us…. John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that He gave His only son, so that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life…”

My sneakers will always look dirty, no matter how hard I try to clean them and likewise we will always have the stain of sin in our lives unless we accept the gift of forgiveness and salvation that is offered to us when we accept Jesus as our Saviour. It is ours for free and is freely available to us… but it cost Him everything. He died so that we could live.

How will you allow Him to ‘wash you clean’ today?